Experiences
by TLN
Summary: Spoiler fic, based on the hypothetical ending of "The Predator in the Pool" episode 102 and also based on a theory born some time ago about the possible unfolding of the season for BB! Fluffy but a tiny bit of angst!


**Experiences  
**  
Hey! Okay we were provided with new insider information yesterday. About episode 102. Yes, sides lol. So obviously if you don't want to be spoiled, I suggest you do not read what is about to be written. This is a one-shot that I wrote in keeping with a theory following which Booth will (spoilers, careful lol) tell Bones that he loves her in episode 100 and also advocate her to take her time in order to figure out what she expects from their relationship. It so happens that in episode 102, she dates Hacker, and that Booth is asked out by a woman, a certain Dr Klein. I put all that in context, advancing the theory that Bones thought it would be beneficial for her to date Andrew to be certain that she does not feel only attraction for Booth as she does for Andrew, but real love. And that Booth would toss in Bones' face his date opportunity to show her he would not "cheat" on her willingly as she does. So, now that you know and... are spoiled lol! On with the story!

Disclaimer: Obviously it's not mine. I belong to the shipper tribe though.

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They were at the Founding Fathers, sharing the usual drink they had when a case was wrapped up. But this time the lively exchanges which punctuated their evening on such occasions were absent. Replaced by the uncomfortable silence that generally announced an outburst. At least, so would think Booth, tracing invisible circles on the wooden table with his empty glass of scotch. He had chosen scotch tonight. Usually he favored beer, but he knew he would need something much stronger to tame that inner anger he had let build within the past couple of days.

- "Booth..."

When his eyes met hers, she instantly regretted to have opened her mouth. Something dangerous was emanating from him, and if she hated to admit that it was attractive -not to say arousing, she hated even more to think that it could be her fault.

- "How did it go with Andrew?"

He said it absentmindedly, it seemed. His tone was even, and he even managed to get the attention of the barmaid to get another scotch. But she knew the heart of the matter was there, in this apparently casual question. She tried to rationalize, making her best school-teacher face.

- "I thought we were not supposed to discuss this. You told me that since I had to make my own experiences in order to figure out if I was ready to consider the idea of a committed relationship, I had to pro..."

He raised a hand, stopping her in mid-sentence. He seemed so tensed, she wondered if he would not make a scene. Obviously she knew it was far from being his type, but she also knew that in the new configuration of their relationship she was possibly going to face an entirely different Booth. But as often, she read him wrong. He let out a sigh, his gaze remaining fixed upon her, intense.

- "Bones, I just... Alright. I have to say it. I don't give a rat's ass what happens afterward, but I just can't. I never told you to go out with guys. Do you even imagine I could tell you something like this after telling you I love you? Seriously? I told you to take your time to consider what you expect of us. Not to date my boss, dammit!"

The last sentence was louder, but all that speech was given in an angry whisper. He had said each word without ever averting his eyes from hers, the intensity in them never fading, and now she felt miserable. Attempting one last time to justify her actions.

- "Is that why you were mad? Booth, you know that if I want to process all the facts I have to experience a..."

He interrupted her again, appalled.

- "We are not an experiment, Bones! I love you!! I'm jealous! I don't want you to laugh at his jokes, I don't want you to let him touch you. I don't want him to look at you! Alright? It might be irrational to you, but to me this is rational. I mean... What would you say if I told you that Dr Klein asked me out?"

She felt the unpleasant sting of jealousy at the mention of Dr Klein. She had seen that this woman was interested in her partner and she had not reacted because, rationally speaking, she expected him to make the same experiences as she was making, for the sake of certainty. The certainty of those feelings he was claiming to have for her. No... She was lying to herself. She was simply certain that he would not do anything about this woman because he had told her he would wait for her, he had told her he loved her. And she believed him. Realizing what she might have done, she fought back tears of shame. Of fear. If she lost the most important thing she ever had, it would be her fault. As always. What could she answer to that?

- "I... I would..."

He felt guilty to bring her to tears, but he knew that it would be the only way for her to understand that his love would not make him either a slave, or a fool. He needed to let her know that a relationship was not unilateral. That despite his patience and his understanding, he had limits.

- "Well, she did. But I didn't do anything about it, and you know why? Because I don't want to spend an evening with a light version of the woman I love. I don't want to spend every minute picturing you instead of her and hoping you were the one laughing and smiling, and being... you. Simply. I didn't do anything because I didn't want you to think I don't give a shit, after what I told you."

His whispers, filled with reproach, still sounded like another love declaration to her. She had a hard time focusing on his accusations when she heard him call her the woman he loved. Since he had told her he was in love with her, time had passed and they had resumed their life together as if nothing ever happened. He had put a premium on preserving her feelings by precising that he was not expecting anything in return, not until she was ready. And she had accepted it. Now she felt like a spoiled brat.

- "You think I don't care?"

She hoped he did not, but her recent actions certainly did not mirror her hopes. He shook his head, inhaling loudly. It seemed anger had transformed into disbelief.

- "I don't know. I don't understand. I knew you would act 'rationally' and 'process' things when I asked you to think it all over. Me, you, our situation. But I didn't know you would take it that far. It hurts. I'm not a sharer."

It was her turn to inhale, deeply, and exhale. She took her time to find the right answer, searching her heart for the truth. She remembered that evening with Andrew and all she could hear was Angela's voice "Admit it sweetie, you were thinking about Booth the whole time, right? You compared what Hacker ordered with what Booth would have ordered; you certainly also compared the way he ate with the way Booth eats. And I'm quite sure you even compared the jokes he made with the jokes Booth makes, or the way he leans into you when he wants to share a secret. Stuff like that." She was right, so painfully right. And that was the experience she wanted to make when she first accepted to see Hacker again. She wanted to compare. To make sure. To be certain that what she felt for Booth was beyond sexual attraction, beyond friendly understanding. And it was way beyond that. It was unexplainable. It puzzled and yet completed her. She could not live without it, without him.

- "I pictured you the entire time. Andrew is charming, nice and intelligent but he isn't you. When I'm with him I am responsive to his features but when I'm with you, I feel... at home. I had to make sure Booth. After what you told me, I had to make sure that I was feeling the same thing, exactly. That I was able to give you what you give me, unconditionally."  
For the first time this evening, he smiled. It was his boyish smile, the one he chose to display satisfaction. She had succeeded in proving her point. Dating Hacker had not been a fatal mistake, it had merely been another way to prove that she would do anything to see Booth smile this way, for her and for no one else.

- "And now you know?"

She smiled at the question, reaching out for his hand.

- "I know I don't feel that way for any other man."

The frustration not to be able to kiss her faded when he watched her hand dancing upon his, the tip of her fingers caressing his knuckles, up to his wrist. Even the smallest gesture was intoxicating. He loved her too much for his own good.

- "That's a good start."

Of course he wanted more. And if he had doubted it before, he knew his patience would reward him someday. Soon.  
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The End!!


End file.
